Long time coming...

I know what you're thinking... I haven't spelt out my feelings in a good while. I'm not quite sure where to begin. It would be exhilarating to think that after all this time I can honestly say that happiness is in my core. However, I have not been feeling quite up to par for some time now. There are some things going on in this life of mine that have my head spinning in a million different directions. It's like a bad episode of "Married with Children." All of the immediate details to be released at a later date.


I constantly find myself asking the question, "Why me? Is this some kind of punishment? Am I being tested? Would it be better to hurl myself off of a diving board into deep waters?" (No no... these are not suicidal thoughts) Just contemplations, if you will.


Have you ever stood in an empty room, stretched your hands as far as they would go, closed your eyes, and stepped outside of your body? I mean really examine your life and it's purpose. Why is it that I work here? Or why is it that my body goes through the same motions every day and I can't figure out why I can't find time in life for modifications? It's not like the earth will be thrown off its axis if I change. It's not like I'm not an adult who will run from the possible consequences.


Have you ever asked yourself a question that you already know the answer to? I keep asking myself the same question over and over again. Every time... I give myself the same answer. This should be a sign.


So... for now I'm going to pray for guidance.


.....Sneak Peak at my book (Untitled):

I always knew coming back to this place was a mistake. However it was altogether inevitable. There are just things in my life that need adjusting and the time has come to face the grueling reality that this is where I stand. On my own. Alone. I'm not really sure what that means anymore. It's hard to cope with an ever changing lifestyle and adhere to my own moral character's plea. I do know one thing for sure; whatever direction I'm headed in, I'm going to need a map.

Stay tuned....